Chapter 27: Being loved is a huge blessing (2)
The next day, Milu stole the store’s pot to make a peanut, pork trotter and beef tendon cream soup. It was made according to Miao Yuan’s recipe from last year. Borrowing Milu’s words, “eat what you wish to mend”. Only soft shell crab will mend the foot muscle. Miao Yuan cupped the steaming hot bowl of soup. All at once, the rim of her eyes reddened and Momo started wildly cursing Milu in her heart, saying that he wasn’t the least bit discreet.
Miao Yuan drank all the soup and earnestly took Momo’s hand, “I’ve thought it over. Help me tell the boss I’m resigning.”
Momo’s mind exploded, shaken until her senses were blurred. At a loss for words, she helplessly uttered her agreement.
Miao Yuan, caught up in her plan, continued speaking. “I’ve thought it over. Our store is too close to his station. Just by standing at the window side I can see their drill ground. How can I forget him like this? I definitely won’t be able to. He doesn’t need to do anything. Each week he’ll come over to drink a cup of coffee, and I might just get hung up on him again. Even if he agrees to breakup and doesn’t say much now, I know myself. I’m hopeless. If I see him together with another woman, it will definitely be very difficult for me to bear. So after thinking about it, I’d better leave. I’ll go live at home for a while and wait until I’ve completely gotten over him. Besides—”
“But Chen Mo definitely won’t agree to breakup with you.” Acquiescent, Momo sighed.This girl didn’t seem to be joking.
“Maybe, but I really can’t stand it anymore. I feel like my mental state right now is completely out of whack. I’m excessively fussy and petty. Any small issue rests in my heart for a long time. If we continue on like this, I’ll definitely fight with him. I’m really afraid of fighting with him. When his eyes freeze over, my heart lurches in pain. I can’t even imagine how heartbroken I’d be if he cursed me. Just look at it. I treat him so well yet his attitude towards me is so lukewarm. If I started fighting with him frequently, he would definitely be annoyed to death. When that time comes, he’ll be the one dumping me. I know my opinion is very selfish. But I’d rather breakup on my own terms, while he still thinks I’m a good person and is a little reluctant to part with me. This way, I’ll feel like it wasn’t as much of a failure.”
As Miao Yuan talked on, her tears began to flow down again.
“I won’t return to the house. The money was paid to cover till the end of the year. Help me move out. Hold the money for me. I think…I think I want to go back to my hometown first.”
“Indeed, you can’t say that Chen Mo didn’t love you at all. He actually treats you pretty well.” Momo tentatively interjected.
“Do you know how the two of us started? His mother forced him on blind dates. Each week, he dumped one. He was annoyed to death, so I said, “If you’re together with me, you won’t need to go on blind dates.” He lacked a girlfriend and just happened to run into me.” Momo felt frightened as she gazed at her lementing friend. Miao Yuan’s current expression could almost be described as despair.
Miao Yuan looked at her with a faint, bitter smile. “I feel, of course, he likes me. There will always be a few feelings to some extent. As a person, he’s pretty good. If there’s someone who treats him well, he also knows to reciprocate. When we’re together, there’s times where he’s also happy. But my attitude has changed. When I was his girlfriend, I always wanted a girlfriend’s treatment. I always thought, ‘I love you this much, so why can’t you love me just as much?’ I always stupidly wanted to be No. 1 in his heart. But now I’ve fallen so deep, I can’t pull myself out.”
“I still believe you should try and talk with Chen Mo once more.”
“Forget it. I can’t do it. I’m already confused about what to do. What do you think I should do? Do I beg him to love me a little more? Can love come from begging? I coughed for a month! At the start, he just suggested that I see a doctor when I’m free. When he’s bored, he’d rather run laps on the drill grounds than invite me out on a date. When he calls his comrades, he keeps his distance from me and doesn’t let me hear what they are saying. He’ll let me touch his gun a little, but if I hold his sniper lens, he’ll get angry. Momo, I sometimes think that ever since childhood, I have wanted to marry a soldier. I feel they are especially handsome and have a special type of manliness, but I probably caught the most authentic of military men. He doesn’t really need me. His gun, his brothers, and his missions…are all more important than me. So, forget about it. His feelings for me are just this little. If I begged him for more, he would only feel burdened. It’s better to leave a good image in his heart and let him remember that someone once loved him.” Miao Yuan squeezed her hand hard, “I’ve already decided.”
Momo had no words and was silent for a moment.
“How are you planning to say all this to him?”
“I’ll leave a letter for him. I don’t want to say it in person. I’m scared if I say it face-to-face, I won’t be able to keep my composure.”
Momo squeezed Miao Yuan’s shoulder. She knew saying anything more would be useless. This girl had already made up her mind. Such a soft girl. Such a soft girl could also be unexpectedly resolute on a matter. This is why one mustn’t make a woman too broken-hearted.
A day later, Miao Yuan was discharged.
Three days later, all resignation procedures were finalized. Luckily, everyone was on her side.
“I’ll take over Miao Yuan’s work.” Although the boss was angry, she also sympathised.
Four days later, Miao Yuan packed all her luggage and boarded the train. As for that gigantic bunny, Miao Yuan hesitated for a long time before finally leaving it with Momo.
Meanwhile, Miao Yuan couldn’t help but call Chen Mo three more times. His phone was off each and every time.
Miao Yuan looked upwards and sighed deeply. God wills it!
One week later, Chen Mo smoothly led his team back to the city.
It had just rained in the ancient city of Xi’an. Fresh, clean puddles of water still pooled the streets. Spring was like the softness of this water, and it really was around the corner. Chen Mo thought, Miao Yuan’s cough should be getting better. Two days ago, he was just released from confidential status. Since then, he was unable to reach Miao Yuan. Chen Mo cycled from bewilderment to gloominess to relief and back again. And then, he finally understood Miao Yuan was angry.
That day when she called, she seemed to have said that her head hurt. But the signal was too poor at that time. Others were pressuring him to hurry up so he didn’t get to say much before he had to hang up. Afterwards, all the phones were confiscated. Miao Yuan must have called during these past few days. When she couldn’t reach him, of course she would be angry. He could only blame himself for not explaining clearly. Even though, he trusted that if she watched the TV recently, she would be able to understand what he was busy with. Ah girls… The casual headache and fever could make them unbearably anxious, as if the sky was collapsing. Though Miao Yuan’s temper was good, she was still capable of getting mad.
Don’t mind, Chen Mo comforted himself. Young girls are like this. Miao Miao is already very well-behaved.
When the troop returned to the station, the sky was already dark. Chen Mo had a kind of weird impulse. He suddenly wanted to ditch everything and run to the Earth cafe to drink a cup of hot chocolate, eat a slice of cake, hug her into his chest, and ruthlessly kiss her. This kind of impulse was really scary. It was just like a young boy’s. Chen Mo forced a smile and shook his head, and returned to the office to sort out the summary report on the current task. Cheng Hui and a company commander 1were both busy. Everyone was busy. Vacation would start two days from tomorrow. Everyone wanted to hurry and finish their work that night. Having been active for the past week, they wanted a real rest.
At break, Chen Mo stood in the hallway, left of the window, looking outside. From this angle, he could see through a window of Earth Cafe. Relying on his incredibly sharp eyes, he could occasionally discern Miao Yuan’s shadow casting on that window. But now, the bright glass window was white and transparent, like a lustrous gem. Chen Mo closed his eyes, as if he could smell the rich scent of chocolate. He felt content.
Chen Mo planned very well. He washed up nicely and changed into a clean uniform. Originally, he wanted to make amends by apologizing and was thinking of buying something. But buying flowers seemed a little unpresentable. Also, Miao Yuan didn’t say she liked flowers. But buying chocolate… Miao Yuan had an entire cupboard full of every kind of chocolate bar.
Hence, Chen Mo thought and thought, and still decided to bring money with him. No matter,, he’d buy whatever Miao Miao wanted. She should be able to forget her hard feelings.
It wasn’t Miao Yuan’s day-off, so she shouldn’t be free during the day. Chen Mo brought along a book so he could comfortably stay in Earth Cafe for a long time.This way, he could occasionally look up to see her smiling like a flower, coming and going in the concentrated aroma of chocolate and coffee.
Momo heard the wind chimes sound at the door. “Welcome!” When she finished saying it, she looked up. Clang—the enemy has come. First-degree combat readiness2.
Chen Mo had already swept his eyes across the store. “Where’s Miao Miao?”
“Miao Miao already left.”
“Oh, where did she go? Will she be back today? When will she be back?”
“No, it’s like this. What I mean is…Miao Yuan resigned. She left. She went back to her hometown…” Momo took a deep breath. But suddenly, her voice felt stuck, trapped in her throat, unable to exit her mouth, because Chen Mo was already staring holes into her.
“Can you…repeat it once more. What exactly…is going on?”
Translator: Dundundun!! How will Chen Mo react when he learns the truth? Place your bids!
- A company commander is the commanding officer of a company; a military unit which typically consists of 100 to 250 soldiers, often organized into three or four smaller units called platoons.
- There are four degrees of combat readiness. The troops are in the highest degree combat readiness (first degree) when the situation is very tense and there is a clear sign of war against China.